On the Question of Questioning

Where am I?
How did I get Here?
Where am I going?
What motivates my progression?
And What really constitutes progression?

Have I ever fully appreciated
the miracle of here?
Have I ever fully appreciated
the wonder of having at all?
Do I ever contemplate
the depths of what
I might not have?

Do I question questioning
to the point of abandonment?
Can I accept that the question
is the inhale
and the answer is the exhale
and its OK to take
a few moments
in between each
and just enjoy
the process of breathing?

The Withs, and Withouts, of Life

Knowledge without
wisdom
is power without
thoughtful loving purpose.

Creation without
pause and reflection
is destruction without
the time to embrace
any meanings.

Worship without
the questioning light
of uncertainty
is purpose without
the contrast to understand
your own darkness.

Reason without
a tender aspect
towards holding
makes facts without
any wonder
or magic made
from the miracle of choice.

Please continue
to wonder about
what you are with
and
what you are without.

Ground Control to Major Tom...

The stars will always glow with a bit of that Ziggy spirit dust.



You are the rock it on Rocket Man.

The Need for Alone Time and the Power of Other Meaning Processors

I have been considering for some time now a couple of related issues of a personal nature. The first is the fact that I absolutely have to have a great deal of alone time. The second is why, when I do enjoy the company of others, I am left feeling quite exhausted, both emotionally and physically.

The alone time thing has always been there for me. For as far back as I can remember I had this ability to let my mind idle away freely on its own; playing with pretty much anything as a toy, or indulging on great flights of imagination. Now its a combination of idling as I play computer games, or reaching out with all of my ability to feel, and visualize, everything around me, but without any inner dialogue. There is also a great deal of reading of course, but I try to do that with as much emphasis on the simple act of observation that I can muster.

I have always thought of my head as the big tub which (I remember being depicted in various ways) in the Li'l Abner comic (which I realize dates me considerably). They would throw in some of the most absurd things you could ever imagine to get rendered down into a psycho turbo, intox-atronic, B.F.G. blast in the ass drink.

The upside of this as far as thinking goes is that you can get some pretty amazing counter blast (as Marshall McLuhan used the term) insights into the morass of stimuli that you may find yourself in. The down side, as is probably even more obvious, is that you have a head that can go off in rather negative ways as well.

In any case, however, an important aspect of how this works is to let the bubbling mess simmer on its own, without forcing it to produce on demand.

As far as being with people is concerned, though, I want to be quite clear. I have, and still do enjoy the company of others. I especially enjoy being able to provide laughter to others; something I had to become quite good at as I had an alcoholic, manic depressive, mother.

The thing is, though, when I am again by my self I find that I have been taxed to the limit; a fact hardly noticed at all as it built up along the way. Understanding why this occurs has been quite perplexing.

One aspect of what may be going on here is stress I have always felt with the implied situation of being on stage, or on camera, in the context that Sociologist Irving Goffman described in his book "Frame Analysis." Nominal social interactions never created a great deal of this stress for me, at least that I am aware of, but more specifically literal on stage moments certainly did, and still do.

This is, coincidentally, one of the problems I have had to deal with as a developer. The combination of how my very odd head works, and being on camera for job interviews was always an exercise in fear management, and the ability to accept the occasional humiliation.

The problem here was that I never wanted to be a developer in the first place so I internalized only the minimum of what was needed to get the work done. And over time I internalized quite a bit, but I could never count on having much of any of the buzzwords, or design paradigms of the day, on the tip of my tongue. A lot of times, in fact, I never had any experience at all with a particular development environment before, and/or the business systems that needed problem solving. The most I ever had was a faith in my ability to figure out what I needed to figure out, and pick up on whatever technology, or coding syntax that was required. And when given that chance I usually did quite well.

In any case, though, that kind of stress may be involved to one degree or another, but I don't believe it to be the main part.

For that we need to turn to an aspect of what Carlos Castaneda (partial fraud though he may have been) talked about in describing the power we allow others to have in influencing how we perceive most anything, including ourselves; and especially in the perception of how we come across to others in everyday discourse.

There are always many ways to see a thing, and often it is simply a choice as to how you will see one meaning as more valid than another. If you are, however, a natural empath you can add extra fertile ground for giving weight to your perception of how others perceive you. You can even do this without consciously being aware of it.

There may well be, however, more to it than even that part of the meaning choices of others. It may be that being in the presence of other meaning processors, even without a word being spoken at all, or any demonstrative behaviors engaged in, an interaction of meaning field affects that we can only begin to imagine now. Field affects that, depending on the individuals, and the experience association history they bring to the table, can cause unknown quantities of frisson, resonance, or a host of other similar effects in quite varied combinations. And again, with all of it being received without our being conscious of it at all.

So, if you too find yourself exhausted by social interactions here's something else to consider as to its cause.

Check the cartoon out here.

The Goffman search link.

More Lovely Complex Spatial Relationship Engineering

This is great to watch.

PERFECT FOR POWERING YOUR TIME MACHINE

Allow This 3D-Printed Triple Gear To Blow Your Mind

The Infinite of Potential and the Potential of the Infinite; as well as the need for faith in the process itself.

I love
the process that possesses
no limit
and knows
nothing
but expresses
everything
to surrender to
or separate from.

The container
not contained
with no width
or height or
depth or
space for duration.

It is
endless formulation,
the dark that makes
the light and
the light that makes
the dark.

It does
boundaries
across boundaries
without limit,
as it forms
singularly referenced
lines of assembly
to make meaning
have space
to have time
for more meaning.

It loves
to make mind
so that mind
can know love
and speak of it
through endless making
to grasp
and act upon
the miracle of choice.

I talk to it
knowing
that it cannot hear
what I express
of knowing
but that it feels
the connection
that is made
of all my meanings.

We are
the circle that goes
around to come
around to continue
again and again
the very process
that makes us
possible at all;
to draw upon that
which makes the canvas
and the pencil.

Please I beg of you
Talk to love
and love to talk
to it
and to each other
so we can
all feel
the connections
to keep the love
and the knowing
going;
making more
meanings and connections.

Conceiving Complex Spacial Relationships and a True Craftsmanship Grasp of Forming Metal

I love watching real expertise in action and this demonstration of making your own puzzle is a joy to behold.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

Machinist Creates 'The Impossible Dovetail'